Effects of Pornography on Relationships

Pornography addiction can have a devastating impact on relationships. Most often, the damaged relationship we think of first is marriage. While porn addiction is most certainly destructive to marriages, there are other relationships that pornography can affect. Relationship with parents, siblings and other family members, dating relations and fiances, friends, co-workers and contacts in everyday life.

Most people think of porn use as a mainly male pastime. Unfortunately, with the Internet and cell phones, virtually everyone has access.

 There are many females who are addicted to pornography. With women or girls, they tend to be terrified of anyone finding out. The shame that they may feel is incredible. If the addiction is strong, they may have fears that they may never be able to overcome it. They may also fear that when they do have a boyfriend, they may become sexual addicted to him. This may transform into a fear of dating or get into a romantic relationship. Lose of confidence, self-esteem and self-respect may also manifest. There may also be a fear that ones parents, friends or family will find out.

With porn additions comes the fears that the addiction can ruin the ability to relate normally with the opposite sex because one may objectify the opposite sex rather than relating to them in a healthy way. With women they may feel intensely ashamed because they believes that porn addiction is largely a guy thing, which only makes them feel more freakish. Lastly, there may be a fear that they will not be able to have a normal sexual relationship when married.

The reason marriages may be impacted by porn addiction is because the addict may relate less in an emotionally intimate way and may rely more on the physical sex act to connect with their spouse. Emotional intimacy takes maturity, love, unselfishness, and courage, whereas sexual intimacy does not. Often spouses may be seen as objects and treated with as such.

Because of guilt, shame and an inability to relate to others generally, addicts may become depressed, withdrawn and isolated. Because many people manifest their depression through irritability, anger and aggression, an attitude of disrespect and resentment are common towards family members. Aggression and violence can sometimes be an end result. Because of the obsession and time spent looking at porn, family relationships may become diminished and neglected. The spouse may end up feeling angry and resentful towards the addict because they may make them not feel attractive or good enough. Trust, confidence and closeness are usually lost when the addiction is discovered, followed by divorce.

Addicts may build up a tolerance and habituation to pornography. What was initially extreme may become normal. The porn user now needs more and more stimulation to achieve the same high. Mentally trained through repetition by the exaggerated world of pornography and its portrayal of women, the addict may expect the same type of behavior from women in real life.

 It can lead someone to put a higher priority on sexual criteria than on other criteria in a relationship, such as values, maturity, personality, spirituality or quality of the relationship. With a major focus on physical attributes and sex, two individuals can form a relationship that is shallow, one that is not really compatible or sustainable. If a marriage is entered into with sex as the first priority, then the marriage may be in trouble after a few months because the sex becomes common and the relationship isn’t strong enough to sustain itself through the difficulties that occur in the normal course of a marriage. Interest is then lost likely resulting in cheating and eventually divorce.