How Porn Can Help Your Relationship

In order for porn to be able to help a relationship there has to be an open an honest discussion between partners. There have been hundreds of stories of porn coming between partners in relationships and marriages. If there isn't openness there tends to be shame and secrecy on the part of the partner that is involved with porn and disappointment and disgust with the other.

There tends to be different types of reasoning for watching porn. Some people developed a compulsion to watching porn and it becomes something that they prefer to being with their partner. This of course becomes completely destructive to a relationship as the other partner feels neglected, and this creates division in the relationship. There are also many people who see porn as a source of excitement and satisfaction they would not experience otherwise. In these instants the experience is shared by both partners and used to spice up their sex lives and create new experiences.

There are many who see the role of the Internet as having a tremendous impact on relationships. In the past finding new titillating and interesting pornography was a time consuming job, but with the proliferation of porn on the Internet and the easy access to it, it has exponentially accelerated the appeal and use of porn among the general public.

Despite the harm that porn can do, the overwhelming majority of people exposed to it don't become addicts. Research shows that sexual addiction affects three to five percent of adults, this suggests that porn use isn't going to turn users into addicts glued to their computer screens. Assuming that porn leads to addiction can confuse its appeal to so many people, mostly men who are quite normal in every other way in their every day lives. It can make it hard for some to accept that, in many relationships, porn use may satisfy needs that have nothing to do with sexual dysfunction. Some research has suggested that the brain-inhibiting effects of antidepressants pose a much graver threat to couples' sexuality than porn. Some have even advises couples to go on the Internet and look at porn as a kind of hormone booster, suggesting that porn drives up dopamine levels, which drives up testosterone levels.

If we begin to see porn in a more normalizing light, it can be helpful to understand the ways in which porn can be incorporated into a relationship without secretiveness or shame. Many people consider porn a fact of life, and the reality is that one partner's sexual desire can extend beyond the other partner's ability, or willingness, to satisfy it and the person's own need to enact it. In these situations, partners can discuss each other's porn stashes without a sense of dismay or anger, sometimes even with a bit of amusement. In many couples, the use of porn is transparent, non-threatening, and an expression of each other's different sexual tastes, rather than an indictment of the other person.

Some people have no intention of acting out their fantasies but instead use porn to stimulate that desire. Porn use can exist comfortably within a relationship that both partners feel is otherwise adequate and fulfilling. But when the worlds of porn and relationship suddenly collide, the experience can be profoundly disorienting.

The argument that porn takes away from a relationship and encourages emotional distance doesn't do justice to the trust that can be created though honest discussions about porn.

Other debates

Why do most women get jealous when there boyfriends/husbands watch porn? Some would say "They do not get jealous, they get MAD!"

Can Pornography Undermine Your Marriage? The Pros And Cons of Watching Porn